Gary Busey Update: Still Crazy

“Good try,” he says, after a reporter asks him the simple question of “What are you up to?” as in “What are you working on now?” This is the response of none other than Gary Busey who, evidentially, is working for a clandestine military organization, and he can’t divulge any secrets lest national security be put at risk. Hell, even the reporter tried to go down that route after he realized that getting the type of answer that someone from this astralplane would give was tossed out the window as soon as Gary opened his mouth and out came a spinning black and white spiral, floating transparent clocks and random mathematical equations.

Notice how just before the reporter decided to go down the silly route with his questions, Gary responds with “My projects are confidential and, uh, very lovely. And when you see them, you’ll be very surprised.” We ran this through our patented Gary Busey translator and this is what it spit out:

“Vortexes of hate spinning out of the bear’s claw can only lead to the mass enslavement of an indigenous, non-spiritual peoples. Gird your loins, my tear ducts are oozing ham jelly that can heal the wounded and kill the hive mind of absurdity and pogo sticks.”

We messed with the translator’s algorithm and we got this clearer message:

“I’m currently working on nothing. So, come this November don’t forget to watch out for a bunch of stuff that I’m not in.”

And that freaky spasm he had at the end, there? That was Gary intercepting a message from his lizard alien overlords that orbit the moon of Titan. They were telling him to move on down the line and talk to the next reporter.