FunnyCrave PSA: Jay Leno Hates You

Science has been working around the clock for like two days now to crack the Leno code and today, finally, we have the answer:  Jay Leno despises you.  Why for, you ask?  Look at the list of shit he’s bringing with him on his triumphant return to late night.  Not only is he daring you to not watch his show, he’s daring the very concept of “interesting” to attempt to encroach on his turf.

Here is Jay’s first 2 weeks back on the air;

Monday, March 1 – Jamie Foxx, Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn, Brad Paisley
Tuesday, March 2 – Sarah Palin, Snowboarder Shaun White
Wednesday, March 3 – “Jaywalk All-Stars” with the Cast of “Jersey Shore,” Chelsea Handler, Speed Skater Apolo Anton Ohno, Avril “look, I wear a tie!” Lavigne
Thursday, March 4 – Matthew McConaughey and Jason Reitman
Friday, March 5 – Morgan Freeman and Meredith Vieira

Monday, March 8 – Simon Cowell
Tuesday, March 9 – Christoph Waltz, Animal Expert Dave Salmoni, and a trip in the way back machine to see Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
Wednesday, March 10 – Kristen Stewart and Guy Fieri
Thursday, March 11 – Dana Carvey and Kim Kardashian, Colbie Caillat
Friday, March 12 – Dakota Fanning and Judd Apatow

Sarah Palin?  Jersey Shore?  Dana Carvey?  Jay Leno wants you to regret owning a television.

As we’ve discussed previously, Leno and NBC together are kind of like Batman and Robin, if instead of fighting crime, Batman and Robin just sucked hard at television.  NBC’s primetime lineup for the past several years, their Olympic coverage, Jay Leno’s whole career and the Conan fiasco speak to this.  So arguably it’s not a surprise that Jay’s guest list is a little thin in terms of star power or anything people have an interest in seeing.

Most likely some of these people are being forced via contract obligations into being on Leno.  Others, like Dana Carvey and the cast of Jersey Shore quite obviously need to graps any opportunity they can get to be on television again.  But man, Sarah Palin?  Whose only contribution to society in the last 2 months has been an ongoing fight against the word retard?  One of the few words that sums her up so aptly?  That’s weak as shit, dude.

Inexplicably, the media has been rattling off article after article about how Leno is returning with A-list guests.  Preumably they stopped reading after Jamie Foxx.  No offense to Morgan Freeman or anything, just saying is all.

Remember kids, Jay Leno and NBC are bad.  Bad!  Stay away.  For the good of comedy.