FunnyCrave Asks – Where Does Gay Come From?

There’s a lot of debate amongst the stupid about what makes a person gay.  Most people, we’ll call them “normal” are pretty sure it’s just the way someone is.  You’re born that way.  Other people, we’ll call them “idiots” think it’s something you pick up on the toilet seat down at the Y or whatever.  Like say your mom let you play with a Barbie one day when you’re 5, then suddenly you turn 15 and think “Damn, I love to shower with every boy.”

But nature vs nurture aside, the issue remains that some people just end up gay while others do not.  What is it that causes that?  What gene leads you to decide that you’d like to make out with Harvey Firestein?  It’s a bit of a brain buster.  Or it used to be.  As it happens, FunnyCrave geneticists have the answer (for those curious, the FunnyCrave genetics lab is on the 4^th floor of the FunnyCrave office tower.  Right down the hall from that sweet bathroom).  Have a look at this;

Do you feel a little gay?  Chances are the answer is yes, and by chances we mean certainly.  We’re not saying you are gay, but you just got hit with a mega dose of Gayma Radiation.  Honestly, we’ve never heard of this Johnny Weird fellow before today and it’s quite interesting that we haven’t since we just scientifically proved he’s actually the cause of gay.  Previously we’d assumed it was Richard Simmons.

Now, we need to take a moment here to make it clear we’re not condemning homosexuality.  We love lesbians, and gay men make up an inexplicably large portion of our core audience.  We still haven’t figured that one out.  Plus, if not for gay men, who would make all the slimming pants we enjoy so much?

We are, however, willing to point out that you could have Johnny Weird here and say, a gat accountant, in the same room.  And the accountant might talk about his boring job, or visiting his parents, or a show he watched on TV and you might never know he’s gay unless he brings it up.  And Johnny here could have had someone blind you before he even entered the room and you’d still know he was the most flamboyantly gay thing on Earth, a kind of Gay Incredible Hulk just bursting at the seams with sass.

So yeah, he has a TV show.  We can only assume it involves lots of taffeta, interior design, zinfandel, and finger sandwiches.  Plus making out with dudes, and whatever else walking, talking gay stereotypes do with themselves these days.