French PSA’s Fail

French people, like the rest of the people in the world, enjoy oral sex.  It’s a fact, you can look it up in an encyclopedia under “no shit.”  There’ll be a pictogram and everything.

Knowing this, what’s the best way to go forth and make some kind of PSA to let your fellow Frenchmen know that smoking will kill them?  Because breaking science has just determined that smoking is counterproductive to health.  I know right?  Who saw that coming?  But it’s true.  Smoking can lead to the jigs, consumption, post-coital vampirism, jimmy legs, fractured pelvis, rheumy eyes, nepotism and the bloody flux.  And brother, you barely want more than those of those.

If you guessed that the best way to make an anti-smoking PSA tat French people could get behind is to, you know, make the oral sex joke that’s so apparent in the header image, then you are a marketing genius.  Or should we say “le marketing genius,” so as to imply you’re French?  Yes, we should say le marketing genius.  Way to go, Pierre!

For those who aren’t versed in tongue, the tagline under the fellatio-themed image say something to the effect of “smoking makes you a slave to tobacco” which is awesome, because it also gives insight into French slavery.  No cotton fields for them, just hummers.   During the 1800’s, vast tracts of land in France was worked by people known as “hummer men” who would follow their masters through the vineyards and potato fields just slurping away while their masters enjoyed cool mint juleps flavored with beef bourguignon and croissants.  If that sounds made up to you, you’re very harsh and critical and may need to take a step back and ask yourself why you feel like ruining everything for everyone at all times.

Anyway, now that you know a bit of history and are enriched as a human being, you may be thinking to yourself “well that’s all fine and dandy, by why would forced oral make me want to stop anything?” and really, that’s the $64,000 question French people never stopped to consider and they should have if their international reputation as deviants is any indicator.  Honestly, if smoking was the equivalent of being forced to go down on someone there’d be a hell of a lot more smoking going on in the world.  Maybe if you had to go down on a dude like in the picture, you’d see some decline in numbers, but it looks like two different guys there, so is it that impossible to think one or two ladies are taking up the riding crop and demanding supplication from all the smokers out there?  No, it’s not impossible.

No one at FunnyCrave is saying we’d smoke the pole as soon as we’d smoke a cigarette, we’re just saying the insinuation of semi-aggressive sex is way less of a deterrent than shit like cancer.  Because arguably no one wants cancer.  Prove to me no one wants to choke on wang.