First Rule of Fight Club Is: DHURRR!!

Ever since the mighty forces of Chuck Palahniuk, Brad Pitt, and David Fincher came together waaay back in 1999 to create the now classic film “Fight Club,” every testosterone-jacked retard in America has since taken to a dark basement where they proceed to beat even more retard into each other, thereby making the world a little better off.

Today, possibly in celebration of Fight Club’s 10 year anniversary, 25-year-old Jesse Salazar of Corpus Christi, Texas was sentenced to 10 years in prison for starting a Fight Club for retards; and by “retard” I mean actual mentally handicapped people. This story is strangely cyclical…like the circle of life…but with a lot of birth defects.

The Corpus Christi State School is a safe haven for the mentally handicapped. It’s a place where they can get an education, as well as top-notch medical care and attention. Well, that is until Salazar and 5 other employees working the night shift got bored and started fucking with the residents by instigating fights between them. Salazar filmed the ‘tardfights with his cell phone, perhaps for safe keeping within a time capsule so advanced civilizations of the future could be proud of their lineage. How could the non-corporeal humans of the year 2572 not be proud of us meatbags when they see videos that contain stuff like this?:

“One video showed a resident terrified, screaming while running around a room as another resident tried to hit him. Salazar could be seen filming the melee with his cell phone. In another video, Salazar appeared to tell a resident to push another far bigger resident to instigate a fight.”

Check out the soul-crushingly hilarious video: