Finally, Rape Jokes on The View

Here are some jokes you don’t normally associate with Barbara Walters;

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To rape you.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Gary

Gary who?

Gary the Rapist.

Indeed, it seems like Barbara Walters and all the ladies of The View are probably not super enamored with rape humor in general, even though apparently at some point Whoopi Goldberg defended Roman Polanski by suggesting we’ll never know for sure if what he did with that 13 year old girl was “rape” or “rape rape.”  You can see the dilemma there.

Anyway, this week when Sofia Vergara showed up on The View (we don’t know who she is either.  That’s not an admission in search of knowledge, we could have researched it, we just didn’t), the ladies all oohed and aahed over how great she looks.  And she has an 18 year old son!  Good golly, how can a woman who looks so young have an 18 year old son?  You tell ‘em, Sofia.

Indeed, as the clip shows, Sofia says (with a laugh) “I was raped.”  At 13.  You may not think this is funny, but you would be wrong.

The line itself is actually pretty funny on its own, because who the fuck ever saw that coming?  But the context is so much better.  Sofia Vergara should get some kind of comedy award for this.  Look at the look on Whoopi Goldberg’s face.  And then rewind a second and listen as everyone else laughs.  Barbara Walters cracked the fuck up.  Someone in there did the “Oh!” laugh, but man, they laughed.

In the future, FunnyCrave encourages all guests of the View to try to pop in at least one horribly off-color joke to spice up what is otherwise guaranteed to be an absolutely boring as hell interview that will be followed by an interview with Mario Lopez.  If you’re a celebrity with an appearance in the near future, here’s a few topics to get the ball rolling;

-the Holocaust

-pedophilia

-the way different races smell

-why women shouldn’t have jobs

- the vaginal temperature of horses

-what Barbara Walters looks like naked

-the suction power of Elisabeth Hasselbeck

-the taste of human flesh