Finally, an iPhone Virus

Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of good people who use iPhones.  I have tons of friends that own Macs and swear by them.  I wish these people no harm.  What I do wish though is that, occasionally, they would shut the hell up and stop lording Apple’s technological superiority over me and every other PC user on earth.  And now, thanks to the newly announced iPhone virus, my dreams may become reality.

For years now, just the mere mention of a computer virus would elicit chuckles from Mac users far and wide.  “We don’t need no stinking virus protection, Macs don’t get viruses.”  Well, yeah, at the time they didn’t, because only clove smoking hipsters with ironic facial hair actually purchased Macs.  Viruses are intended to fuck up your computer, not lower your Pitchfork rating.

But now, Macs are everywhere and nefarious internet types are ready to exploit them.  According to Charlie Miller, co-auther of “The Mac Hacker’s Handbook,” the Mac OS may be easier to crack than Windows.  I’m pretty sure he’s referring to Windows operating systems, not actual windows.  Because those are damn easy to crack or even shatter, as my ex-girlfriend and her petty restraining order can attest to.  But I digress. 

Miller is also the man behind the new iPhone virus, which he plans to reveal sometime today at the Blackhat cybersecurity conference. 

So what does this mean for computer users?  It means I’m a PC, you’re a Mac, and soon, we’ll both be equally at risk of having our computers taken over and used to send goatse pictures to everyone in our email contacts list.  Welcome to the party.