European Parliament Kicks Ass

We all know Europe is a little left of center.  People over there eat mayo on fries. That’s pretty much equal to punching your own balls.  It really is.  But hey, whatever, they’re an older culture than us North American folk, they have rich histories full of plague and Inquisitions and porn.  And the whole European Union thing kind of makes the whole continent one big country of semi-like minded individuals all trying to get along.  Most times.

As this video shows, not every kid is happy to be in the sandbox with everyone else.  Especially if the President of the European Council is some filthy Belgian with the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.  Those might not seem like superfly insults but I assure you, that shit is fucking hilarious, especially when belted out with an English accent, in the middle of a parliamentary meeting, towards a guy who’s just sitting there staring at you whilst totally looking like a low-grade bank clerk.

There are a lot of subtle and not-too subtle political intricacies to fully understand the mood and tenor of the situation over in Europe, and in particular the countries which fall under the purview of the European Council and the Lisbon Treaty.  In a nutshell, Europe kind of force-untied itself into a single-ish entity and some of the individual countries, or at least a significant portion of the citizens therein, aren’t big fans of that.  Imagine if the US, Canada and Mexico just banded together and a governing body was set up with a Quebec politician in charge of everything.  Would you respect anything someone from Quebec had to say about anything that happens in your country?  Of course not.

Word has it the low grade bank clerk in question stumbled ass backwards into his position as president of the council simply because every other option was a more high profile candidate that pissed people off even more. It’s like going to a comedy show and finding out that Dane Cook, Carrot Top and Carlos Mencia are the only acts playing.  So at some point, your brain is going to have to pick the “best” one out of the group, even though logic and good sense says there’s no way to do such a thing.  But once you do, there’s your bank clerk.

What did the bank clerk do to piss this guy off so much?  Hard to say, it was his first session appearing before European Parliament, but it’s possible the Brit was just making himself look like a big man for voters back home.  And honestly, that’s probably the most awesome way to do something like that.  And FunnyCrave fully endorses that kind of chicanery over here as well.  We’re totally holding out for the day someone just comes out and calls Sarah Palin a retard.

Oh, wait…