Does Ice- T’s Wife Have a Real Ass?

Now that you’re rested from Christmas (or, for our Jewish readers, rested from being a heathen) it’s time to get back to the real, pressing issues that keep FunnyCrave moving.  Now more jocular, throwaway posts about awful Christmas music, no sir.  Nothing but hard hitting news from here on out.

It’s at this point we’ll stop that pseudo-joke about being serious since you already read the title of this post and instead start talking about ass.  Ice T’s wife Coco is remarkable for any number of reasons, not the least of which is that her and Ice T together look like a rhino dating a blow up doll, or maybe to work up a super obscure metaphor (actually a simile), it’s like a business deal between Exxon and some company that makes hot, blonde, fake asses.

Here’s the thing – who knows anything about Coco?  She’s married to a scary as shit rapper/actor and she looks like that.  And her website is horrible.  It says she is a model and she worked for Playboy for a while and she loves fast food.  No mention of why her ass appears to be a separate entity affixed to her colon other than assurances that yes, it’s real.

Recently, Coco has gotten herself quite a bit of attention for posting pictures on Twitter that tend to show an awful lot of boob or ass or, ya know, girly bits that are enjoyable.  But the fact remains no one likes a fraud, least of all FunnyCrave interns who begged the editorial staff to at least do one post on ass before the new year.

Using our hard-hitting investigative skills, we’ve put together a short list of possible substances that Coco’s ass may be made from.  You know, if actual ass isn’t one of the choices.

1. Two hams
2. Verne Troyer
3. Jam Jelly
4. The Ass Snuggie
5. small dogs
6. Vanilla Ice
7. Adam Brown
8. an alternating team of Japanese workers
9. recycled mattresses