Does Bill Paxton Make Fun of Cancer? [video]

The Golden Globes were last Sunday and odds are you didn’t watch them because why would you?  Do people still watch awards shows?  In any event, they still took place and cameras were there and what they caught may blow your mind.  Or not.  Hard to say.

According to some folks, notably the New York Post, after Michael C Hall wins something or other for being on that Dexter show of us, the camera cuts to Bill Paxton, who lost for his role in some other show, and Bill can se seen saying he lost to cancer.  See, cuz Michael C Hall has cancer.  You have to read his lips and all, but that’s what they’re saying.

We got this video here of the event and if you zoom up to around 0:43 you’ll see them cut to Bill Paxton.  This is when they say Paxton exudes a total lack of humanity.  Could he really be the big brother he played in Weird Science?  Is he that big an asshole?

Now no one at FunnyCrave is an expert in lip reading, but our janitor does watch people from trees a lot and he says Paxton says something like “I knew he’d beat me.  I was beat by Dexter.”  But since when can you trust a janitor?  So we had everyone else in the office have a look and write down what they thought Paxton was saying.  Here are the most likely translations;

• I knew my plan would fail. I should have given him more cancer
• I can’t feel my balls.  Can I feel yours?
• Remember when I was in Weird Science?  That movie was the shit.
• Sometimes I forget the difference between myself and Bill Pullman.
• I’m going to get Anthony Michael Hall to kick his ass.
• You know who has some sweet golden globes?  That Teri Hatcher, miright?
• The bathroom on the 4^th floor is really, really nice.  Really.
• If the Amish had televisions, what do you think they’d watch?
• Do you guys wanna go get subs after this?  I’m hungry.  For a sub.
• Holy shit, I thought Neil Patrick Harris was dead!
• Jeff Goldblum isn’t here is he?  Gives me the creeps, man.
• What’s the deal with airline peanuts?
• Guess what, my uncle died in the tux.  Weird, eh?
• God, I ate too much chili before we came here.  I hope this ends soon for your sake.