Dockers and Men Without Pants – The Cutting Room Floor
By Ian Fortey
During the Superbowl, Dockers unleashed a commercial upon the world featuring homely, pantsless gentlemen. As an office full of homely, pantsless gentlemen, FunnyCrave feels a special closeness to this brand of advertising. And, as it happens, the commercial directs you to the internet where you can win free pants. And we’re on the internet. And we can only afford free pants! It’s like they’re in our brains.
Word is this was one of the most impressive and successful commercials to come out of the Superbowl, according to people who watch the Superbowl in order to judge the commercials. Honestly, we were too wasted to remember seeing it when it aired, but whatever. We don’t know who won the Superbowl yet either, someone puked on this morning’s paper. But I digress…
For all the success this commercial seems to be enjoying, it’s worth noting that this was not the original plan according to the marketing department over at Dockers. Oh no. They had to go through a hell of a lot of drafts before they stumbled upon the marketing gold that is ugly, half naked men during the Superbowl.
Plan 1 – Entice people to the Dockers website by promising that Dockers will absorb chili shits. Feature interactive “where’d the chili shit go?” game.
Plan 2 – Promote Dockers 2-4-1-4-Fatties sale. If you can’t fit in one pair, we’ll sew two together for you!
Plan 3 – Feature Bret Favre trying to throw a pair of Dockers.
Plan 4 – Celebrity spokesperson Alex Trebek puts on a pair of Dockers then hires a hooker. In the end, he doesn’t pay and she doesn’t care.
Plan 5 – Enraged lab monkeys turn on their keepers and choke them to death with their own pants. What pants? Dockers -Built Tough Enough To Choke Out a Lab Technician ™
Plan 6 – Interactive website/television feature. Kim Kardashian attempts to get a pair of Dockers over her ass. Will she succeed? Check out the website.
Plan 7 – Three hobos wrestle over a sandwich. In the shadows, a man in Dockers watches. Dockers: For the Man with Discerning Tastes
Plan 8 – Entice people to the Dockers website by promising that Dockers will completely repel chili shits. Feature interactive “Is that a chili shit running harmlessly down your leg?” game.
