Creepy Robo-Baby Makes Human Babies Obsolete

If you’re a mother-to-be but you fear that you may not be adequately prepared to handle the responsibility of parenthood, you may need some kind of training that will help build confidence. You can take a good parenting class, or even you can even get yourself one of those semi-realistic baby dolls that cry and whine and piss themselves. Or you can get yourself an undoubtedly expensive bed-ridden Japanese cyborg child with a glowing head. We recommend the latter, because you never know when your real baby will get kidnapped by radioactive sentient robots that are hellbent on assimilating every one of us in to their robo-society.

The Yotaro baby simulator comes to us from a man named Hiroki Kunimura from the University of Tskuba in Japan. And why wouldn’t it be from Japan? Those people have such a disdain for organic life that we’re surprised they haven’t devised some way to replace all male and female genitalia with Robo-Junk — A mechanical penis that shoots grease in to a woman’s synthetic robo-vagina as to lubricate the tiny gears and wheels that are creating a tiny robo-human. Terrifying? Crazy? Yes and yes. But don’t be surprised when you see some Youtube video of something that looks like scrap metal, frayed wires and a mangled human flesh slipping out of a Japanese lady’s choochie.

The Yotaro baby simulator has an interactive screen for a face, which lets the baby express emotion via its watermelon-sized head. But seeing as a mother also must know how to before such a menial task as wiping liquids off the baby’s face, the creators have given the baby the ability to ooze liquids from its face. That’s right, whether it be tears or snot, this robot baby will being leaking and it’s your job as a parent to hold back your screams of disgust and fear just long enough to clean that shit off.

The baby reacts to the user through a sophisticate emotion-control system that watches and senses what the user is doing, and then it provides and appropriate reaction in response. So if you tickle the baby’s stomach, the baby will respond with laughter. Another good example is if you tickle the baby’s stomach…

…it will respond by kicking off its blanket and exposing its grotesque mechanical innards, while laughing the same way you always imagined a demon would.

On the surface, the Yotaro baby simulator seems like a harmless educational experience for soon-to-be mothers. But, as the picture above proves, once you expose what’s behind the curtain, shit turns in to a nightmare quick.

What was once a cartoonishly large baby, with a silly light up head…

…then becomes some insane genetic experiment, or, worse yet, a baby on life-support.

Here’s the full promotional video…