22 Incredibly Sadistic Toy Sets for Kids

Parents, teachers, politicians and the media are quick to point out that our younger are generations are increasingly violent because the video games they play with. But, what about the other toys? While most of the following are more humorous than they are vulgar, the following are 22 of the most sadistic toys we could find. Maybe they were meant for adults…

The Avenging Narwhal Play Set

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The Avenging Narwhal Play Set reveals the imagined purpose of this Arctic whale’s long, sharp tusk. These “unicorn of the sea” toy sets come with three smaller, cuter animals for the Narwal to impale. The Narwal even comes with four magical tusks for a variety of gore.

Twice the Fun

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Just in case your kid sleeps soundly every night and never has night terrors, this sick little two-headed doll is available to fix all of that. One head is only slightly creepy, while the other burns an imprint of its evil into your brain.

Unicorns Are Always Horny

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Much like the Narwhal, this unicorn is looking for a fresh kill. It also comes with four interchangeable horns designed to maim and kill cute little creatures. The Avenging Unicorn can even do night kills, as one horn glows in the dark.

Mum, I Hate You

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What could be cuter? Pretty much anything, actually. This “Mum, I Hate You” thing looks poised to kill. If it doesn’t scare the daylights out of the child who owns it, the child’s mother should probably start sleeping with one eye open.

Shocking Game

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Players of the Lightning Reaction Extreme game are required to grab pistol grips and squeeze until the lights stop flashing. The last player to let go gets a jolt of electricity. Fun for the whole family.

Kill Them All

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No need to call and exterminator to rid yourself of pesky fairies, pixies and sprites. You can eliminate them all with the fairy swatter. This gem comes with pre-splattered fairy remains, s you know it works.

Makin’ Bacon

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This looks like a wonderful way to relieve stress. The Pig Catapult allows you to use pigs as ammo and launch them across the room. Now you can annoy your cubicle neighbor more than ever before. PETA probably wouldn’t be all that happy either, you know how they get.

Dead Ducky

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The once bright and cheerful yellow ducky is no more. It has been replaced with this dead one, which comes complete with a mortuary toe-tag on its net bag coffin.

Horrified Victims

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The set of horrified victims are ready to be terrorized. Do your worst to them, as fixtures of B-Movies, they are used to being attacked with chainsaws, gutted, stabbed and bludgeoned to death.

Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies

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These realistic looking flesh eating zombies roam the night with their blank stares, slack jaws and missing body parts looking for fresh kills. Luckily, they glow in the dark so you can see them coming.

Zombie Pet Shoppe

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If flesh eating human zombies aren’t your style, perhaps a cute little zombie pet would be more your speed. These undead animals are looking for love and affection and require only bits of raw flesh to keep them happy.

Toys for Terrorists

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This bombed out and burnt up vehicle would be the perfect gift for your favorite terrorist. Seriously, who thinks up these things?

Crime Victim Barbie

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Poor Barbie. It may seem as though she lives a glamorous life, but she’s really also quite vulnerable. Courtesy of Etsy, we have the works of art featuring Barbie as a victim of violent crime.

Dearly Beloved…

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All butterflies go to heaven. This kit allows you to give your dearly departed insect friends a proper funeral and lay them to rest in style. Comes complete for poetry that can be used in the eulogy.

Teddy Abortions

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In case you ever wanted to see what aborted teddy bear fetuses at different stages of development, or what the skeletal remains of a teddy might look like, here they are. You’re welcome.

Experimental Bunny

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The cute little guy has apparently been subjected to animal testing and had part of his scull removed, revealing his bright pink brain. If that weren’t gruesome enough, you can remove the brain for added fun. Good times.

Russian Roulette for Kids

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They grow up fast, don’t they? Before you know it they’re off to college and starting a new life. Prepare them for the real world while they’re still young with this wacky Japanese toy. It’s like Russian Roulette for kids! What could be better? Life is all about taking chances.

She’s Having a Baby

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Yep, this toy goes there. Another anatomically correct treasure, this pregnant doll can be taken apart to get the baby out or perhaps you’d prefer to let nature take it’s course. Either way, there’s a baby in there and it’s coming out.

Adventures in Dissection

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Why wait for middle school to let your kids learn about the innards of animals? They can begin dissecting creatures at home at a much earlier age. These toys are from Japan, in case you couldn’t guess, and feature anatomically correct animal parts.

It’s Never Too Early

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Teach your child the importance of knowing how to properly gut a fish at a young age. The description doesn’t say whether the fish might wiggle as it’s being killed or if it’s slippery, but those would be excellent features.

Soft and Cuddly Severed Head

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When you think of soft toys, this is probably the last thing you’d imagine. Why it exists? We’re not sure, but it gets extra points for facial expression and brutality.

The Ultimate in Torture

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This is simply horrific. If none of the items in the list so far struck fear into your heart, this one should do it. A bride dragging her groom to the alter is blood chillingly scary, and unlike many of the other items, this one could happen in real life. Take it as fair warning.