Courtney Love to be First Lady of Venezuela

Courtney Love is hot in the crotch for Hugo Chavez.  Oh how we wish that first sentence was at least kind of shocking.  But this is Courtney Love we’re talking about, she could have interrupted Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift by clotheslining Shakira to the ground and shitting dead on her chest and it still wouldn’t have 1/10th of the shock factor that any one of the myriad ways she’s shat upon the legacy of her dead husband have.

But still, there are some horrifying implications emanating from that picture above.  Apparently, at a recent screening of the new Oliver Stone documentary “South of the Border,” Love noticed Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez giving her the sexy eye during a Q&A session.  Whether it was Love or Chavez handling the answer portion of the exchange is unclear.  We sure as shit hope it was Hugo.  The lesser of two crazies, you know?

Anyway, we’ll let Love tell it at this point.  “It was the third wink that sold me. He’s a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I’d like to go. I’ll rock Caracas!”  She later followed that up on her Twitter page by adding “dw;aempo slcia,che klamideea aebuc;exkl LOL!”.

Batshit insane as she may be, Court has an impeccable ability to get dudes in the sack.  Next thing you know, they’re ghostwriting albums for her and they end up dead or Billy Corgan, a fate worse than death.  But what can Chavez do for Courtney Love?  He’s not going to be writing any dated alt-rock anytime soon, that really only leaves one option.  At some point, Courtney Love is going to will Hugo Chavez to suicide (or pay to have him murdered, your choice) and ascend to the leadership of Venezuela.

Are we as a country ready for a dictator of this nature right at our doorstep?  Will Fox News still hate Hugo Chavez if he’s actually a drugged up blonde chick?  Is Venezuela technically at our doorstep, in a geographic sense?  We don’t know the answer to any of those questions, and we don’t want to.