Chris Christie Is Totally Getting Weed In The MailBy Dan Seitz
Chris Christie, affectionately known as “Governor Sandwiches” to most of Jersey, has apparently been sent a gram of weed a week since last spring from Edward Forchion (not pictured, but you know the type). Forchion manages to misspell Christie’s name and get his job history wrong, but still, the dude is sending the governor weed. And the governor is claiming he isn’t getting it.
Oh, sure you aren’t, Chris. You and your staff don’t collect that bud and have a clambake in your office every couple of months or anything. What gets us is that Sandwiches, who is desperately trying to avoid running for President, doesn’t just use this to make the GOP go away and leave him alone.
His state is already installing medical marijuana dispensaries, six, in fact. It’s been a difficult law to pass because Camden didn’t want any competition, so the dispensaries had to be placed in locations that would let cancer patients score weed without costing the Jersey crime syndicates any money.
Oh, sure, he made a big show of “morals” and made the law as strict as he could since it wasn’t his idea, but that of Jon Corzine, the single most hated human being in New Jersey. He’s so loathed, he couldn’t even get onto one of those terrible Jersey reality shows.
But we’re getting off topic, and that topic is Chris Christie smokes so much bud he thinks Dane Cook is funny. So, come on, Chris. Just suck it up and admit that you enjoy a puff of the ganja, that the only way to be a politician in Jersey is to burn more sweet leaf than a VW Bus full of Deadheads. I mean, dude, come on. We can tell just by looking at you that you’re no stranger to the munchies.