BREAKING!: Buying Women Jewelry Shuts Them Up!

Some guys are just filled with too much pimpage to be held down by society’s views on monogamy. Businessman Robert Charlton from England is one such pimp.

Decades ago, Mr. Charlton married a girl named Elizabeth. About 2 minutes after the wedding, Mr. Charlton began his life-long quest to sex-up every other girl he came across that wasn’t wife. Elizabeth, knowing full well that her husband was an avid propionate of not having sex with her, cut a deal with Robert: every time he cheats, he has to buy her a piece of diamond studded jewelry. The end result is jewelry collection worth just over $420,000. Mr. Charlton shits on wedding vows.

When Elizabeth died in 2006, she passed her collection infidelity jewels to her daughter, who then promptly auctioned it off to make a quick buck.

“It is a beautiful collection of fine diamond jewelry. There were 43 items in total,” said an employee of Woolley and Wallis, an auction house in Salisbury, Wiltshire.

The daughter, Claire, made back nearly all of the money her dad blew on his…well, on what was essentially a black-mail of a marriage.