BREAKING: Area Man Loses His Shit In Walmart McDonald’s

If you want to find the one place on earth were you will surely see people so low on the social scale that can be considered the protons, neutrons, and electrons that make up the atoms that make up a pile of shit, then go to a McDonald’ in a Walmart. A McDonald’s in a Walmart is an alarming confluence of garbage-ass humans and delusion-based insanity. Only there can you find people trying to barter a rock of crack for a single 39 cent burger, or people so sad that they must fight, kick and scream to get the burger that will fill the hole in their souls…like the fat guy in the video above.

Little is known about the fat guy in the video who loses his shit over some food — but one thing that is known is that he wanted some fucking chicken and all they gave him was some goddamn garbage. Surely, the McDonald’s workers in the kitchen must have known that no matter how dumb your customers are they will always be able to decipher between the pictures on the menu and the contents of a dumpster. Yes, some may struggle with this thought as they chow down on some trash while sporting a shifty-eyed look of paranoid contemplation, but a few – a select, very fat few – can open a burger wrapper, find garbage in place of a burger, then find the indignity in eating said garbage.

As with nearly all viral videos, we never get the full story. The fat guy claims that he had been waiting for his food for a while (a half-hour, I believe) then received garbage instead. We know not if this statement is true, but, in the end, who gives a fuck? Fuck that fat guy, and fuck his food. That video is amazing.

But in the interest of getting all sides of the story, we will now present you with a video of a fat guy defending himself. Notice how we said “a fat guy” and not “The fat guy.” We say “a” because we’re pretty sure that this isn’t the same fat guy from the McDonald’s, but we’re sure that their rage is shared. Also because they look somewhat alike and that’s good enough for us to stretch that observation in to a fully-blown law that’s states they’re the same person.

A word of advice to the guy in this video: never defend your fatness by rubbing your man-tits for a little over half of the video.

In closing, yesterday we posted a story about the Louvre, the world famous art museum in France, putting a McDonald’s near the museum entrance. Can someone please Email the fat guy in the Walmart McDonald’s video to the Louvre people as an example of what can happen when you cram a Mcidees in to a preexisting establishment?