Couples Retreat Poster Edited Due to No Black People Living in UK

The movie Couples Retreat, a comedy starring Vince Vaughn that probably featured Vince Vaughn playing the same guy he’s played in every other comedy he’s been in; that vaguely annoyed, impatient kind of jerk ass guy, has just hit the UK, where they generally have to wait for movies because it takes a while for the dolphins that deliver film reels to swim across the ocean.

Anyway, despite no one caring about he movie, the poster is now gaining some attention as it’s the exact same poster they used in North America, only it seems to be missing all the ethnic types.  Which is to say there are two black actors in the movie who got photoshopped the hell out of the UK poster.

The official reason for this, according to a Universal Pictures rep is that they wanted to simplify the poster so it only featured the most recognizable actors, because in Europe, audiences typically can’t handle a poster that’s got more than 6 people on it and if they don’t recognize one of those people they immediately assume it’s a wanted poster or a missing persons poster.  The real reason, of course, is that black people do not and cannot exist in the UK.

This is no fault of the UK people, they’re all quite charming in their why, it’s just a geographical anomaly that prohibits the existence of black people.  It’s not even racist, it’s just weird.  Like the Mystery Spot or the Bermuda Triangle.  Now, you may be thinking you’ve seen black people from the UK before, maybe you want to throw out the name Seal or something, but please.  Would we lie?  What do you think is more likely, that there are black people in the UK and we just made this shit up, or that black people can’t exist in the UK and you’re in denial?

For further proof, here’s all the people from the UK.  Spot a black person if you can.

If you ignore Mel B in the Spice Girls, we’re totally right.  Score.