Big Money Rustlas: The Insane Clown Posse Makes a Movie…For Some Reason

I would like to start this off by saying Fuck You. This is a preemptive “Fuck You,” because I know that as soon as I’m done sharing what I’m about to share, you will look at your monitor with the kind of face you only see on a military dad after he finds out his son is gay.

So, are you ready for my confession?

Okay, here goes…

I used to be an Insane Clown Posse fan.

You know, I thought I would feel better after I said it. I do not.

For those that may not know, ICP is a rap group out of Detroit that specializes in over-the-top lyrics of violence and lameness. Their musical talents hover somewhere between subpar and however you would classify the musical talents of a vegetable, specifically, a zucchini. The sad thing is I knew all of this during the time that I listened to them. Looking back on it, I think it was my version of self-flagellation. I was punishing myself for something; I just don’t know what that something could be. Did I murder someone when I was in middle school? If I did, I have to pat myself on the back because I apparently have the worlds’ best memory suppressing ability.

Anyway, I bring up ICP because they have a new movie coming out. It’s called Big Money Rustlas, and it’s a pseudo-sequel to their first film Big Money Hustlas…a movie I still own to this day on VHS. Seeing as approximately zero of you out there have seen Big Money Hustlas, here’s my quick retro review….

“What a load of horse shit.”

Of course, at the time that I liked ICP that review would have been exactly the same. The only difference is today, that review contains all of the anger and annoyance that you probably imagined when you read it, instead of the understanding that a person can enjoy something even if it’s complete garbage.

So, seeing as I’m coming from the place of someone that owns ICP’s first movie, and someone that just gave a retroactive review of it, here’s my future review of Big Money Rustlas without having seeing any of it, other than the trailer…

“It’s still a load of horse shit…but now there are horses. So the horse shit makes more sense now, I guess.”