Best. Rapper. Ever. BANGS

One the one hand it’s a shame that the two previous best rappers ever that we found have to be usurped, but on the other hand bully for humanity because rap keeps improving its game and letting the world experience more awesome flows and wicked beats.  Rappers say stuff like that, right?

Right off the bat you can tell Bangs means business.  He put all his effort into the song, no time for making a video so they had to just put random, still images behind him.  It’s like eating from a dumpster behind a Popeye’s– sure the décor is weak but man, the quality and price of the food can’t be beat!

Bangs sets up a wicked romantic scenario in this song by offering to bring his special ladies to the moooovies.  What a lucky girl.  And ladies, Bangs hopes you’re hungry.  Popcorn is on him.

Now, before you protest, just run that video ahead to 1:15 and you’ll see, Bangs has a fat stack of poor resolution bills.  Our boy can buy all kinds of popcorn.  Shit, he’ll get you some Junior Mints, too.  The big box.  Yeah, you read that right.

Bangs has a lot to say in this video, so you may want to take notes.  But if you’re in a hurry, he’s some condensed points that are worth knowing;

0:03 – Bangs only wears the biggest, most ill-fitting of hats.  Because he can.  Yeah.

0:11 – This track is for all the ladies that like to go to the movies.  Especially you, girl.  How ya like my forest?

0:38 – He already knows you’re looking nice and he hasn’t even seen you yet.  Conclusion?  Bangs is omniscient.

0:45 – This begins actual step by step instructions on how to watch a movie, including pay to get in, walk through the door, sit in seats.

1:02 – Roulette wheel?  Check and mate.

1:39 – Wanna go to a movie again?  It’ll totally be ever better the second time.  But how can you make perfect better?

1:51 – Bangs is not like other boys.  He comes from the sky.

2:29 – Bangs is very polite.  You’re busy right now, so he’s going to let you be.  But please, meet him for a matinee later.

2:53 – Goodness, we have to be ready to go in a half hour.  Bangs shall bathe.