Bank Robbery Escape Was Within Arm’s Reach
By Luis Prada
A group of young men in Essex, England recently stole over 175,000 Euros worth of jewelry. Their raid was precise and calculated. They had one guy, a one John Smith (real name), waiting in the car outside of the store acting as the team’s getaway driver. Three hooded men exited the vehicle and smashed the store’s windows with a claw hammer and proceeded to take as much as they could. With their sacks full, they rushed back in to the getaway vehicle and made a break for it as they police gave chase.
The problem they encountered was that John smith, the getaway driver, had no arms. Like, none. To put it another way, in lieu of arms, John Smith had nothing.
Even with no arms, John and the team managed to drive a good 30 miles (with the robbers shifting for him) before they slammed in to the side of a tunnel and the cops set up a blockade around him. THIRTY MILES WITH NO ARMS WHILE BEING CHASED BY COPS!
Later, Smith’s parents gave a statement to the police basically stating that John was a complete idiot.
“Because of his naivety he did not fully accept that by sitting in the car he was actually involved in the burglary,” said John’s mom.
But that’s beside he point. The real question here is found within this quote:
“Smith, who cannot dress himself and lives with his mother…”
Do gangsters prescreen their heist team members before they throw down with some nefarious deeds? Or do they just give him a phone interview and make their decisions solely based upon how gravely his voice is? I ask this important question because sometimes it just seems like people that try to steal shit are retarded people — not just for trying to steal shit, but because the manner in which they attempt to steal shit is the same manner in which a retarded person would steal shit.
