Ian Fortey

444 Posts

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6 Fun Ways to Fight Strangers

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fight club ab011409
You may not know this, but the world hates you.  And by you, I really mean you, reading this right now.  Not "you" like everyone, like as if I said "You can't masturbate on the bus without unwelcome consequences" or whatever in which I'd be using you to mean all of us, like the French "vous"...

A Fear of Hobos

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So I have this fear of hobos. Some years ago I took it upon myself to head downtown at a totally unreasonable hour in the morning in the hopes of being first in line to get tickets to a concert that was in a town that’s about 160 miles away. It didn’t occur to me there wasn’t going to be a...

An Incident at 3:17 am

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There comes a time in your life when you are never awake at 3:17 am.  You used to be awake at 3:17 am because you were at a party and everyone was still drinking and you should have stopped about 2 hours ago but you didn’t and now you’re just loading the gun for when you vomit in a potted...

Things To Do With Your New Penis

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Penis envy is a term that gets bandied about all willy nilly and few people ever stop to appreciate just what it means.  Psychologists probably think something very boring about it, the kind of thing you might know if you’d paid attention in psychology back in university instead of skipping for...

Lost Season 7 Spoilers

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If you have learned nothing else from watching Lost, you should know that the producers have about a million and one...