Australia Just Learns That Some Doctors Suck

It wasn’t until late September 2009 that Australia finally realized there are “doctors” out there that have no idea what the hell they’re doing. Doctors that learned everything they’ve ever known about medicine from shit they made up.

Australian Health Minister John Hill stated today that the Australian government will adopt the recommendations of a parliamentary committee that found such practices as “organic coffee enemas” and “vaginal blowing” to be, in their words, “a load of horse shit.” For those of you that don’t know, an organic coffee enema is when a “doctor” asks you to kindly behind over, then he crams a unlubed pot of steaming organic coffee in your rectum, pot and all. He does this because cancer fears coffee, it’s simply non-science. Simply drinking the coffee just doesn’t work. You need to really get it close to the butt cancer as possible. Cramming the pot in there as well just adds a little extra jolt of fear in to the heart of your butt cancer.

Vaginal blowing as a means of curing cancer is…well that’s just self explanatory. But we’ll explain it anyway. You see, when you are a lady that has cancer on her lady parts, a qualified non-doctor must then press his lips against your vagina hole. He then blows into your cooter like Dizzy Gillespie in to a trumpet.  This act blows the lady part cancer out of your lady parts and in to your stomach where it then gets broken down by your stomach acids. This method of curing lady part cancer is so technologically advanced that it makes the rest of the world’s lame ass chemotherapy look like a glowing pile of irritated shit. The only downside to this therapy is that when your stomach acids break down the cancer, the cancer moves in to your large intestine where your body absorbs the cancer and spreads it throughout the body. There is currently no body cavity to blow into that will rid you of full body cancer.