Anecdotal Evidence Proving I’m Probably From an Alternate UniverseBy Kristi Harrison
But I don’t know. Maybe it’s just all in my head.
1. I prefer Gary Cherone as the lead singer of Van Halen.
2. My belly button is an outtie. And it has nostrils.
3. It once occurred to me that maybe Dick Cheney was a pretty ok guy.
4. If I flap my arms and hum Dixie, I can breathe underwater.
5. J#@werrry! K nsis L9***fligbit.
6. My hair bleeds when I cut it.
7. The smell of human flesh gives me the burps.
8. When I finally saw Citizen Kane I was all, ‘meh.’
9. I only dream in red, gold and green. Just like Boy George, who I think might be my people.
10. The sun irritates my scales.