All Girl Mosh Pit is Far More Awful Than You’d Think

When you think of FunnyCrave you probably think of rippling abdominals and rapier wit and maybe your grandmother for some reason.  But some of you, if our comments section is to be believed, can’t think.  And others of you may think we’ve juvenile.  Or sophomoric.  Or fucktards.  But let it never be said that FunnyCrave is prejudiced.  And why is that relevant?  Because this post is not about fat people.

We’re not here to make fun of the overweight and God bless any bigger girl who feels comfortable enough to actually de-shirt at a concert.  However.  FunnyCrave does not condone a goddamn thing that is occurring in this video.  Not a goddamn thing.

To begin with, you’ll notice the unrestrained use of the word “juggalo” in the title of this video.  We’ve gone over this before, and we still have no idea what that word means.  No, that’s not accurate.  That implies some degree of ignorance on our part.  We understand that’s not a real word.  And yet there it is.  Just because your head can produce noise does not language make.  For instance bruginshut, sweedflute and nutduggler are all things you just read, doesn’t mean they’re words.

That said, people who listen to Insane Clown Posse, disrobe and run in circles like demented children on sugar highs playing Gunt Bumper Cars should be genetically cleansed.  Even those skinny girls.  We’re not prejudiced.

In the future, if a more evolved species ever seeks to catalogue the species that was human and begins the arduous task of viewing and filing our assorted recorded histories, from the earliest written languages on through music, sculpture and finally film, the day will come when some low seniority drone working deep in the archives brings up this video, clicks pause and gets his supervisor.  The supervisor will arrive and watch the film and call in the overseer.  The overseer will defer to the Minister of Histories who in turn will bring this to the attention of the Galactic Emperor.  The Galactic Emperor will watch, expressionless, in his audience chamber on a massive hovering screen where his assorted Ambassadors and Senators stand by in silence.  He will ask for it to be played a second time.  And then, in a room nearly alive with silence, the Galactic Emperor will stand, he will look out over his multitudes and he will say “Fuck it.” And the history of humanity will be thrown out a trash chute.

Kids, in the future, if you see this happening, polite step in and just say “no.”  Use a paper to swat their noses if necessary.  No one wants to see these sweedflute playing nutdugglers proliferate.  It’s for the good of mankind.