80’s Stars We’re Surprised Are Still Alive

Corey Haim, best known for being not Corey Feldman, died today of an apparent drug overdose.  While the career of Haim has been the butt of many jokes for years now, it’s never funny when anyone dies.  However, it’s somewhat noteworthy when an icon from decades past leaves us and we notice how many others are inexplicably still around.

This article’s for you, Corey.  Make a real sequel to the Lost Boys in Heaven, Lost Boys 2 sucked.

• Steve Guttenberg.  Star of Short Circuit, Police Academy and Cocoon is still alive.  There are even rumors he’s reprising his role as Mahoney in a new Police Academy.  For fuck’s sake.
• Andrew McCarthy. Star of Weekend at Bernie’s, Weekend at Bernie’s II and Fresh Horses.  The most inexplicable aspect of his career is that, according to the IMDb, he never stopped working.  He’s actually been gainfully employed all these years.
• Anthony Michael Hall.  The nerd from the Breakfast Club, the nerd from Weird Science, and oddly enough the bully from Edward Scissorhands.  Dude is alive and kicking and actually played Christopher Walken’s role in a TV version of the Dead Zone.  He was even in The Dark Knight.  Presumably as the nerd none of us remember.
• Dolph Lundgren.  Star of the Punisher, Rocky IV and He-Man.  This dude is actually in a huge movie later this year featuring every action star ever called The Expendables.  He is totally not dead despite rumors he was swallowed by Brigitte Nielsen’s vag.
• Jennifer Beals.  She starred in Flashdance and probably something else.  Turns out she’s been on The L Word for like 5 years, too.  If any of us had ever seen that show, she might not have made this list.
• Lou Diamond Phillips.  He played the guy who wasn’t white in 50% of 80’s movies including Young Guns and La Bamba.  Is he Mexican?  Is he Native?  Turns out he’s Spanish, Scottish/Irish, Chinese, Filipino, Hawaiian, and Cherokee.  So he can literally play every role ever.  And he has been, for years.
• Grace Jones. Apparently Jones was not just an actress but a singer and a model back in the day.  She looks like evil.  And she was in Conan and Vamp, and a James Bond movie.  She seems to do soundtracks now, so as to not scare kids.
• Harry Anderson.  He played the judge on Night Court and was in the Stephen King movie “It.”  If you remember him from anything else, you’re amazing.  He guest starred on 30 Rock a couple seasons back, proving, at least in 2008, he was not a corpse.
• Joseph Wapner. Probably the biggest surprise on this list, Judge Wapner from the People’s Court is still alive.  Dude was born in 1919 though, so best to open a second window and Google it when you read this, just to be sure.
• Dave Coulier.  He was on Full House and pretty much nothing else ever.  We know Bob Saget is still alive because he does stand up.  We know John Stamos is still alive because he used to have a wife who willingly took his name.  But, as it happens, Uncle Joey is still alive, too.  Unsurprisingly, he’s spent most of the rest of his life as a cartoon voice actor.